About This site > My Reflections > July/August 2008 > 24 July 2008

24 July 2008


We are overseas in France at the moment for what is a mix of an extended holiday, an opportunity to travel and a chance for our kids to learn French ( their father's home tongue) and to get to know their grandparents better.

We are in a smalll village in the middle of the Pyrenees mountains close to the Spanish border. Our kids have been welcomed with open arms into the school and the little community. None the less questions still come up.

One of the older kids in the school asked my son where his "real parents were", he ofcourse replied that they were here in town. The classmate proceeded to tell him that we weren't his real parents because he had different colour skin to us. Our son ofcourse insisted that we were his real parents ( and knowing Max probably thinking that his classmate was crazy).

As we are the only parents Max has evern known, we are obviously his real and only parents in his mind. He knows he's adopted, he knows that he didn't grow in my tummy like other babies do, he knows that he has a different colour skin to us, but this does not make us any less "real parents" to him.

If I'd been there I would have had a hard time not getting involved in the whole discussion. The fact is that the older child didn't mean any harm by asking these questions and none was taken by my son. As an adult we interpret things completely differently and add our own emotions and bias to the mix.

Since the discussion reached a stale mate with neither Max nor the classmate wanting to change their opinion on who the real parents, they reached a compromise which my hubby and I still chuckle over.

Since Max is definitely brown and we are not they resolved that Max must've fallen into a toaster and that's how he got brown.

Would you have come up with that? Trust kids to find an answer.